The Cause of Conflict in Relationship

So we are trying - asking - not trying - we are asking is the cause thought? Thought itself. Let me first - I am putting - the speaker is putting out these things, don't agree or disagree, we are going to examine. Is the cause this sense of duality we have, division between what I am, what I should be? The 'should be' is a projection of thought. That is, one does not like the way one is living, or it is painful, therefore one projects a concept of a better way of living, an ideal, and conforming oneself to that ideal, and therefore conflict. The actual and the ideal. Is that the cause - one of the causes of conflict? Which means we never face actually what is - right? Always moving away or escaping, from actually observing the actuality, the pettiness of our life, the idiosyncrasies and so on.